May 2012

Passion, Dreams, Goals, or Experiences?

Passion, Dreams, Goals, or Experiences?

Over the last several weeks I have written about opportunities, decision making, and eliminating naysayers. In this final column of the series I want to wrap up with bringing dreams to life. Or better yet, posing the question is it passion, dreams, or goals that bring success and change to us? One person’s passion, may be another’s dream, and yet another’s goal.

Passion is the ultimate driver for any success and is typically seen as energy or commitment, for without passion opportunities are doomed to failure because it is easy to quit. I am most intrigued by life-long passions like Einstein’s research or an unknown 50-year Bridge player named Mary Alice Seville of Corvallis, Oregon. I wonder what drives these people to maintain their commitment. My wife and I discussed passion this past week and I had to admit, I probably have no current passions. In contrast, dreams paint a picture in our minds about our future; a picture of a day not arrived whereas passion on the hand is what carries us through the gloom, threat of failure, and makes an ordinary day exciting.

Dreams are what we wish for, talk about, and bring radical change to our life. With energy, enthusiasm, perseverance, and passion I believe anyone can achieve their dreams. None are impossible, having typically been proven by others doing them, but we must understand elements of dreams are out of our hands. Thus, it is important to understand a subtle difference between dreams and goals. While dreams are typically dependent on others, like “I want to be a rock star,” goals are of our own control. Sadly, failure to achieve dreams is common because many are not grounded in reality and external factors wipe out their probability of success.

Goals are milestones, generally steps on the way to achieving our passion and dreams. Most people would find personal goals synonymous with resolutions, describing accomplishments over both short and long periods of time. Goal setting lends itself to providing a long-term vision for our lives, and most likely spawns from our passion. Examples of goals are running a marathon, losing weight, or making ten sales calls per day; all specific and not dependent on outside variables. As exemplified above, goals are differentiated from dreams by eliminating external circumstances. For example, my goal of riding my bike cross-country is dependent on my ability to train and plan, not on acceptance by others.

Lastly I want to touch on experiences; the toughest for me because finding the difference between goals and experiences is difficult. When I look at some of my personal goals: own a Porsche, or ride my bike across America, I must wonder if they are truly goals or desires for an experience. This is the everyday mental battle I face and therefore work to find underlying commonalities.

Regardless of whether considering passion, goals, dreams, or experiences we must be cognizant to opportunities knocking. When hearing the knock I feel we are obligated to actively make decisions, and eliminate negative people from our lives. Each of us can improve our lives dramatically and even more so by developing a long-term vision. It is obvious though, we are all different and everyday many people accomplish what others consider impossible. To those that see impossibility they should look to others for inspiration and how to achieve success. Ultimately though, if we find our passion then our lives fall into sync and our dreams become reality.

May 31, 2012 by Self Improvemet

Naysayers – Don’t be kept down (5/16/2012)

Naysayers – Don’t be kept down (5/16/2012)

Imagine your excitement regarding a new goal, like going back to school or starting a business, and everyone you share your idea with finds problems with it. Parents are guilty of using their personal failures as experience to discourage children and friends allow their own insecurities to trump support.

This is my third column regarding opportunities, decision-making and pursuing our dreams. Along the way we must acknowledge the negative influencers who stop us. Many years ago I discovered the type of personality type I would call the “naysayer;” the friend or family member who constantly spews negativity. I am a believer that the ability to recognize and consider opportunities, make effective and timely decisions, and avoid naysayers will propel us forward to new successes.

The classic naysayer can be described as “Eeyore” from the “Winnie the Pooh” series of books. At first glance a likable character and friend, but upon examination he is dreadful. For example Eeyore once conversed with Pooh, “Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he said. Eeyore always saw the glass half full, sadly never relishing the hope which comes from optimism.

As an optimist, it is hard to acknowledge negative people, but once I found the naysayer and understood their life’s mission is pessimism, cynicism, skepticism, and denial regarding any opportunities it was obvious avoiding these people was critical to my own success. The naysayer would not admire my success and therefore was an enemy to my future.

We must challenge ourselves to ask “who do I know that is a naysayer?” Sadly, they may be our spouse, a family member, or close friend. The worst scenario is a trusted confidant as a naysayer. Over time we may not realize this is the case, but unfortunately the naysayer is the most significant obstacle to seizing new opportunities.

To recognize those holding you back you must take a close look at your friends and family who constantly find problems with your dreams, goals, and desires. Cheerleaders of your interests will always look for positive outcomes to your opportunities. A supportive friend will debate the merits of your considerations and offer pragmatic opinions. A naysayer, on the other hand, will immediately question the wisdom of your ideas and find nothing but negative consequences.

We must beware the naysayer because they will fill us with negative energy and prevent the empowerment we find when taking control of our own lives. Sadly, the naysayer is more devastating when it is someone we love or hold in close esteem because we inherently trust their opinions, sometimes more than our own. My advice is just say no to the naysayer and break away to find freedom in your own successful pursuit of opportunities.

May 16, 2012 by Self Improvemet

Decisions – Made or Avoided (5/9/2012)

Decisions – Made or Avoided (5/9/2012)

This is the second in a series of columns I am writing around pursuing dreams and changing our lives. I recently wrote about opportunities, often thwarted by inaction and fear. Once an opportunity knocks on our door, deciding how to react is as critical to stepping through the door as recognizing the opportunity itself.

I have identified several decision making processes, most leading to failure: by committee, analysis paralysis, avoidance, and relying on others. I assert it is far safer to make a decision, good or bad, and have the opportunity to change course than to make no decision at all. “The truth is that many people set rules to keep from making decisions.” – Mike Krzyzewski

In large corporate organizations it is easy to see how decisions are made by committee. This allows the individual to avoid responsibility and disappear into the group. The same holds true outside of the professional environment. Many people are guilty of surveying friends, and asking “what do you think?” until time forces a decision. As an example, a man may consider buying a new truck and discuss the details with his friends, co-workers, and family. Most likely he knows what truck he wants, but he fails to make the decision. Through committee he can blame a ‘lemon’ on everyone but himself.

Another form of decision making is analysis paralysis. Using our truck buyer as an example, this type of decision making is based on the relentless collection of data: facts, figures, reviews, and reports. Data analysis becomes the excuse for failure to make a decision because there may be an additional piece of information either for or against the choice. Perfection regarding the choice is sought, however no decision is ever perfect.

Time is the one challenge we all face regarding successful decision making and for some, delay becomes the ultimate decider. Time can successfully steal conscious decision making by forcing a deadline to pass and then becomes an excuse by allowing one to state, “I ran out of time.” Often this is conscious avoidance, or procrastination by true description, and the blame is not the clock but the clock-watcher.

Lastly, relying on others to make our choices is the most dangerous form of decision making. For example, as children our parents do this for us or at work supervisors give direction to employees and constantly make decisions for their teams. Thus, it is easy to become guilty of seeking authorities like doctors, teachers, clergy, and even parents to make decisions.

It is critical to empower ourselves and take responsibility for making timely decisions in our lives. Opportunities constantly flow forth and although the desire to step forward may burn within us, bad decision making habits will prevent reaping possible rewards. I assert the risk of a bad, personally made decision is far less than the lost opportunity guarded by the safety of inadequate decision making processes.

May 9, 2012 by General Rant Self Improvemet