My Dog Shadow



My dog Shadow died Wednesday night. He was hit and killed by a car in front of my house. It was a hard week, a friend that never spoke to me, but yet I knew he was always there for me was suddenly taken away. Not only did I have to handle his death, but I had to communicate it to my kids. As our family mourned his loss, I started wondering about death. Is it better if an old person is tragically killed than a young person?

One of my rationalizations to help cope was that he was 15, near the end of his life. He had a great, healthy, full life for a dog. Thus, was it OK that this happened?

When an old person passes away we reflect on all of the things they did – kids, military, service to others, adventures, vacations, work, hobbies, etc. But, when a child passes, we tend to reflect on all of the things they did NOT get to do – experiencing life. Does that mean it makes it OK for something ‘bad’ to happen to someone just because they are older? Does it make it better for me, personally, that Shadow was killed this week because I know that some time in the next year he would have passed on anyway?

I was mad at myself for not petting him before I let him out Wednesday night. I did not take him to work on Wednesday either, like I do everyday. I remember looking at him Wednesday night and asking him if he needed to go out. A few minutes later I checked the door and he was not there, he always comes back, he is always there. I instantly knew something was wrong.

But, as I have tried to cope this week I thought about the days before – on Saturday he sat in the park with my wife and me as we sold pumpkins for church. Kids came to pet him and commented on how cute he was. Sunday he went to Cocoa Beach with us and was in the park while my wife volunteered at a bike race/ride – riders and kids saw him and petted him for hours. She had commented to me how many people could not believe he was nearly 15 years old and how cute that he was. I was able to hold him in the car and pet him. I distinctly remember looking into his eyes and saying to him what a great friend he was. Monday he went to work with me and rode in my car. I stayed late and it was just the two of us. For some reason, I drove home with my hand on him – not petting, but resting on him. Tuesday, 10.31.06, was his 15th birthday. I forgot, but the kids remembered. They bought him treats and played with him. That night I bought him a new doggie bed to lay in. LeeAnn and I never got to give it to him as we were late getting home and just came into the house. Wednesday night we arrived home late to torn books by our new dog rabbit and I had to clean up the family room. I let Shadow and Rabbit out and Shadow never came back.

Everytime I walk outside I can see the blood stains on the road. I see your grave in the yard, I am sorry.

Shadow, you were there for me everyday for the last 14 years. In the last two we have been at work everyday and you helped me get through some rough times. I tried to protect you and take care of you, I am sorry I let you down my friend. I miss you so much.

Shadow
10/31/1991-11/01/2006

Holy Land Day 8

This was the day I was seeking the entire week. Throughout the week it was hard – churches built to remember events seemed to desecrate them in my mind. Finally, peace.

I wrote the following to LeeAnn Saturday morning.
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“My angel, I found what I was looking for. We went to the Garden Tomb, a place of remembrance. The English purchsed the property in the 1800s and give a theory why they believe it could be the site of the crucifixion and tomb.I felt moved. We had communion! I found myself with tears. I found Peace this morning. I am sad I am leaving, because there is so much here. But, I miss my family, all of you. I want to return, I want to study, but most of all I want to share this trip and future trips with you.I feel peace.J”
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That summed it up the best. We left the hotel and went to the Garden Tomb about 9am. The Garden Tomb is an area that the english bought and set aside to remember Christ’s crucifixion. About 1000 people a day visit the site and it is guarded outside by Israeli soldiers (just two). It is what you would imagine, a beautiful garden. There is a rock wall, “skull mountain” that remembers the men crucified there by the romans. the face of the rock itself resembles a skull and the skulls from those crucified were thrown into a pit.

The English that own this site believe this is a possible place, instead of Mt. Calvary, because of the rock, the roads intersecting there and Roman tradition to crucify by the road, and that there is a tomb located nearby. Regardless, they state tha this is a hypothesis, like anything else in Jerusalem and should be remembered as such. The place is very peaceful. We spent about an hour there and it was completed with communion. If nothing else, our communion was a time to reflect on our trip and what had happened this week.

After the Garden Tomb, we traveled to West Jerusalem. It was beautiful. The city changed from the rundown side we had seen in East Jerusalem, primarily occupied by the Palestinians, to the Jewish dominated part of town. We saw the church that remembers the site where John the Baptist was born, and we saw the wilderness where he preached.

Next, we climbed a hill up to a church to remember the site of the Visitation – where Mary told Elizabeth that she would be preagnant with the Son of God.

That was it — a short day followed by an afternoon of killing time waiting to leave. We flew out of Tel-Aviv at 12:20a, flew 12 hours, and arrived New York at 5:35a. If you do the math, I had almost 18 hours of darkeness as the aircraft stayed just ahead of the sun.

Would I go again – YES! I want to share the Holy Land with LeeAnn and the kids. I think it would be a great gift to all of them as studying the bible will never be the same. I understand what it means to “go up to Jerusalem”, what the wilderness looked like, and where the Golan Heights are. I can remember the geography and picture that in my mind when reading and studying the bible. The churches are beautiful, and I can accept them for their uniqueness and a way to remember miracles or very important events that took place in the Bible. I understand that is there purpose and each religions’ way of remembering those events.

My own journey was to learn. I am very naive when it comes to studying the bible, or even understanding the history of man in any of these locations. I learned history, saw archaeology, and hopefully understand more about today’s politics in the area.

I would tell you to go go go on such a trip. I went with an organized tour group and was also able to enjoy it from the cohesiveness of our group, all being from the same church. There is much to learn.

Please feel free to email me with questions. I am going to post all of this on my blog

Holy Land Day 7

Today was about archaeological sites, less biblical and more exploration of the country.

We left Jerusalem at 7:30a and headed toward Masada. This was amazing – Jerusalem is at 2700 ft ABOVE sea level and Masada is located on the southwestern shore of the Dead Sea – 1300 feet BELOW sea level. This is the lowest place on earth! The drive took about 90 minutes.

Masada (http://www.bibleplaces.com/masada.htm)– this was a place of refuge that Herod the Great built. He was concerned about the relationship between Cleopatra and Marc Anthony and her lobbying to be made ruler of the the entire area. To show his strength, Herod built many palaces when he was king of kings. This particular location is incredibly desolate. There is no vegetation and temperatures easily reach 125F in the summer time. Masada is a mountain, rising 1500 feet above the valley floor – about 200 feet above sea level.

What happened here is of huge importance to the Jews. A band of Jews broke off to be on their own – about 1000 of them. The Romans, in a show of force, ordered armies to retake Masada. 25,000 Roman soldiers were sent to the location, however it could not be easily conquered due to the geography of the location. From all sides but the west, the mountain could not be attached. On the Western side was a plateau, about half way up. From here, the Romans built a ramp, 1300 feet high! No, I am not making this stuff up. It took them two years, and they were finally able to attack. At this point, the Jews knew they were going to lose the battle. In a famous speech they had to decide between death or slavery. They chose death. A mass suicide took place by cutting of the throat of the person next to them, each passing the knife to the next. Then, with 10 soldiers left, they drew straws to determine who would be last and fall on his sword.

When the romans finally breached the wall, all of the Jews were dead.

From there, we traveled north to Ein Gedi (http://www.bibleplaces.com/engedi.htm), where a spring comes from the mountains supplying water (and there is a bible story I do not remember).

Next, Qumran (http://www.bibleplaces.com/qumran.htm) — the side of the Dead Sea Scrolls. This was interesting because it was something I had seen on TV and the news.

From there, we got to go to the Dead Sea and put our feet in the water. The salt content is about 25%, nothing will live in the water. Also, you cannot drown – as everything floats (unless your are face first!).

Finally, the day ended in Jericho so we could visit the site that remembers the Sycamore tree that Jesus passed by. The city is Palestinian controlled and rather rough looking. I did have Jericho bananas there that were delicious!

Enjoy the few photos.

JRN

Holy Land day 6

Thursday came and went — today was more of a tour of the City of Jerusalem, but it was topped with a walk of the Via Delaroza (sp?).

First, we visited the Tomb of David, but David was not home. Nor, do they know where he is. But, it was the old city of David. Here, we saw ruins and some museum information about the Temple and the building of the Temple. It is amazing to see that man, thousands of years ago, could build something so large and magnificent.

After visiting this area we hopped on our bus and drove to another part of the city and entered through a different gate and ultimately ended our day by exiting Demascus Gate. I just studied the map and not sure which gates we came and went through. The purpose of our trip today was to walk the path that Jesus took with the cross on his back. We stopped at each of the stations along the way that are recounted in this walk. Ultimately, we ended at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

The Church of the Holy Sepulchre covers Mt. Cavalry where the crucifixion took place. I found today difficult to understand and relate to as I spent the day walking through the city. Personally, it was hard because at all of these holy sites different churches have been erected to remember the sites. Each church being much larger than the last. I personally found the Church of the Holy Sepulchre disturbing, and disgusting. There is no “hill” or “mountain” at Mt. Cavalry. Instead, I counted a church, within a church, within a church. What occurred was Helena, Constantines Mother, in the 400s wanting to no where Christ had been born and crucified. In each instance, a church was erected at the site. At the Holy Sepulchre, there is a church that has within it an altar to remember the site of the crucifixion. This building is about 20x40ft and 20 ft high. Then, another church was built around this church — 80 ft in diameter, 80 ft high to a huge domed cathedral with columns around the outside. Then, another church was built around the outside of this structure. Now, I cannot explain well enough, but it is dark, like a basement, there are no pews. Instead, this is Greek Orthodox so there are oil lamps hanging everywhere. There are mosaics. There are paintings. But yet, it is like a basement with no light coming in. Because, the city has literally been built up around the outside. The entrance is at ground level, but on one side street level is 40 feet up the side of the building.

We stopped at each of the stations on the walk of the Delaroza. At each site there was either an alter, a church, or chapel remembering the site.

After this walk, we had lunch – one of my favorites of the week. I had a schewarma in a cafe. After that we walked about 1.5 miles through the city back to our bus. The walk was interesting because it was through the Muslim section of the city and we saw the bizarre. Remember, people live and work here. This is not souvenir shopping, but true shops for the locals to buy meat, candy, hardware, clothing, etc.

JOHN